Lance in Topeka (formerly Louisville)
Lance in Topeka (formerly Louisville) 'is a Clone who is notorious for calling the Jim Rome Show with song parodies. His speciality is parodies of the music of Neil Sedaka, a pop icon of the 1960s and 1970s, which he calls "Sedak-Attacks". He is known for his hatred of Ryan in Wichita, whom he has glossed "Cryin' Ryan" and made the target of several of his parodies. Lance was originally identified as being from Louisville, Kentucky; but as of December 2013 announced a move to Topeka, Kansas. Lance has a reputation as one of the most notorious and polarizing callers in the Jungle, with many Clones clamoring to hear more of him, and many others vehemently demanding that Rome slap Lance with a lifetime ban from the show. History Lance made his debut on May 13, 2013 and garnered instant notoriety when he called Jim Rome to put the Hack-Off participants on blast with a Neil Sedaka parody song. It was a parody of Neil Sedaka's "Bad Blood" from 1975, called, "Hack-Off!", but Rome prematurely ran him before he got to the good part. On the strength of that call, Rome invited him to the Hack-Off, calling him, "The Perfect Hack". Lance did appear in the 2013 Hack-Off on June 7 of that year, and introduced Rome and the Clones to the "Sedak-Attack", singing, "Hey Ryan!" a parody of Sedaka's "Oh, Carol!" from 1959 that was intended to take down Ryan in Wichita. Although Lance was not run, Rome criticized Lance for going too long and, due to the underwhelming performances by all the Hacks that day and absence of the former Hack-Off champions (Vinnie Mac, Ray-Ray, Jolene), announced that the Hack-Off was permanently discontinued. Since the Hack-Off, Rome has often cited Lance's long call as the primary reason for the cancellation of the Hack-Off. On June 18, 2013, Lance called the show again to try to persuade Rome to give the Hacks another chance, or start a new tournament devoted to song parodies. Rome ran him and emphatically told him that the Hack-Off would not be revived unless he could find new Hacks. However, Rome told Lance that he was still welcome to call the show with "Sedak-Attacks" every once in awhile. Lance thereafter became a regular caller. On July 25, 2013, he made it on the air after being on hold for two weeks and brought a Sedak-Attack for Vic in No-Cal, but was run with a "Whisper Buzzer" created specially for him. The call was regarded by some of the Clones as one of the worst calls ever in show history. On August 8, 2013, he called again to apologize for his Sedak-Attack on Vic and cited a poorly-working phone and a migraine as the reasons for his poor performance. He then claimed to be a "new-and-improved" Lance in Louisville, and proceeding to sing a parody of Connie Francis' "Stupid Cupid" aimed at Ryan in Wichita. Rome ran him and went off on a ten-minute rant about Lance undermining his efforts to remain relevant by singing Connie Francis parodies. On September 6, 2013, Lance came big with a parody of "The Macarena" aimed at Brad in Corona. Not only did he complete his call without getting run, but at the end of the program, Rome awarded him "Huge Call of the Day", admitting that he didn't think Lance had it in him but that Lance performed much better than Rome expected him to do. Lance Tweeted to Rome that he was going to a Neil Sedaka concert in Bowling Green, Kentucky, and Rome challenged him to demonstrate the SedakAttack to him. On September 24, 2013, Lance called to accept Jim's challenge. He then proceeded into another parody designed to take down Brad in Corona, only to get run. One week later, Lance called the show again, claiming that he had fulfilled Rome's challenge but said he had no video footage to prove it, due to the battery exploding in the video camera. Rome didn't buy Lance's story, ran him again, and reprimanded him for failing to deliver. For the next two months, Rome was very reluctant to take a call from Lance, but Lance maintained his brand via Twitter and e-mail. However, on December 12, 2013 with Lance on hold, Rome promised to let Lance on the following day, as he had run out of time to allow Lance on the air. And so, on December 13, 2013, Lance returned and put Ryan in Wichita on blast yet again with a parody of "Frosty The Snowman". At the same time, he announced a move to Topeka, Kansas. Although Lance was not run, Rome called the call "forgetable". In his Year in Review 2013 show, Rome declared 2013 to be "The Year of Lance in Louisville", and called Lance "annoying". Song Parodies by Lance and Results *"Hack-Off!" (parody of Neil Sedaka's "Bad Blood"), May 13, 2013 ('RUN) *"I Am I, Lance in Louisville" (parody of "I am I, Don Quixote" from the musical "Man of La Mancha"), May 29, 2013 (Hack-Off RSVP, RACKED) *"Hey Ryan!" (parody of Neil Sedaka's "Oh Carol!"), June 7, 2013 (Hack-Off; Call completed but not racked) *"I'm Launching a SedakAttack on Vic" (parody of Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do"), July 25, 2013 (RUN '''with '''Whisper Buzzer) *"Cryin' Ryan" (parody of Connie Francis' "Stupid Cupid"), August 8, 2013 (RUN) *"The Brad in Corona Macarena" (parody of Los Del Rio's "Macarena"), September 6, 2013 (Awarded Huge Call) *"Brad in Corona" (parody of Plain White T's "Hey There Delilah"), September 24, 2013 (RUN) *"Ryan in Wichita" (parody of "Frosty The Snowman"), December 13, 2013 (Call completed but not racked)